Thursday, August 21, 2014

Am I good enough?

Don't we all wonder that?  Apparently I am lucky enough to live in a county where I can be judged and then told whether or not I am, in fact, "good enough".

Tuesday I was given the honor of being reviewed by the “Professional Standards Committee”

What that is, isn’t made exactly clear, except that it is apparently the group of people that get to judge whether or not parents are good enough to be volunteers at the school. 

I was given a perfunctory phone call in which I was told the committee was reviewing my application, but I do not think they were going to tell me I had to be there if I hadn’t asked.

There is no link for the committee on the county website. There is no listing under staff for this department, a posting of their policies, or even a mission statement.  And why I was not granted the ability to speak to them LAST year when I begged the dividend program members, the school board, the superintendent, and everyone I was redirected to in between for appeal or review? 

The policy currently posted on the website (which was NOT posted last year, in case you were wondering) is the same policy they supposedly followed last year.  I can’t be sure since that policy was not posted last year but IF that is the case and the policy is unchanged, then where was my Professional Standards Committee Review last year?? 

Surprisingly, I was one of three women there. One was applying to be a teacher and one to be a dividend.

It was mentioned before the review that all decisions by the committee were final. Yeah, I don’t think so.  When they tell me no, that is just the beginning of the plans I have been waiting all summer to set into motion. Not an end, by a long shot.  It was cute that they tried though. I laughed in my head.
They started their meeting about 10 minutes late (not very "Professional" if you ask me) and I sat for an additional hour before it was my turn for scrutiny.  I may have been outside the room, and I may not have been given the names of those who judged me, but I have ears and I DID hear a man say "Look at me, I'm a hardened criminal!" In what context it was used, I don't know.  But it was heard.

I brought quite a sizeable stack of recommendation letters (thank you ALL) many of which are from moms in Seminole County and some who had children at my daughter’s school and even in her class last year and some printouts of the various endeavors that I currently do, which include a litter pick up team in my neighborhood, fostering baby animals, raising chickens, painting and interior design, and sewing.  I explained that the only way I could think to show them that I am different than the person who got arrested twelve years ago was to simply show them the things that I spend my time doing. 

And that’s it. I waited all day for a phone call and didn’t get one. I was told I could call the next morning so I did, and got voicemail.  This morning I called again and was told that my application was denied (big surprise there) so now I can move ahead with my plans to address the school board.

I wish I didn’t have to waste time on steps that I already know the outcome of. Got to love bureaucracy.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

The school year is about to begin

The summer is easy. I'm a very motivated and energetic person, so I was able to find/create some volunteer opportunities for the girls and I that were pretty fun. We began the summer fostering a litter of puppies that needed extra special attention (I used to be a veterinary technician so I was able to use those skills to save 5 little dog lives <3)

We only managed one Litter Bug Patrol trash pick up event this summer, but at least we got that one in there. We just go out as a family with our gloves and trash bags and pick a section of street in our neighborhood where we pick up all the trash we can find.  Our first event ever (during last spring break, I believe) we found like 10 tractor tires, a television, a few rolls of carpet, street signs, and several garbage bags full of beer bottles.

We finished off the summer by fostering a litter of tiny orange kittens. I currently have four orange balls of fluff running around my office and bringing joy to every member of my family every day.

Now the time has come to sort through clothes, gather supplies, and meet teachers.

I'm sure everyone has a certain level of anxiety when it comes to meeting new people.  Starting a new school and meeting a bunch of new people is already kind of overwhelming.  Then I have to add a whole extra layer to my anxiety when I wonder what people will think when they learn of my past and my inability to officially volunteer at the school when they, inevitably, find out. Because I can't be myself and eager to help and participate and NOT have it come up, because until the county approves me there are only certain things I can do.

I have to say that there was a group of ladies at last year's school (I certainly hope you know who you are) who went out of their way to make me feel welcome after the school itself made me feel quite the opposite. And I hope it isn't too early to say that I THINK I may have gotten lucky again this year.  School doesn't start until next week and I have already helped out once, and I already see opportunities where I am welcome and excited to help out, and we've already crossed that bridge where I have to tell them all why I can only help with certain tasks.  And you know what? Nobody looked at me like I had three heads or anything like that, so I think we're going to be ok!

Some days are better than others. Today was a good day.