So what do you think of when you think of a convicted felon?
Do you picture the guys on Prison Break or Sons of Anarchy?
Dirty, scruffy, tough people, running around committing crimes?
How about Tim Allen? Martha Stewart? The lady next door? The
cashier at the grocery store?
Why is it that we automatically assume that a felon must
look rough, dirty and unkempt? Or that if someone is clean and well put together
that they aren’t? Is that better or worse than seeing a rough looking guy and
assuming he’s a felon simply from his appearance? Because not everyone with a
full beard and a leather jacket is a criminal. And not everyone in professional
business attire isn’t.
I remember a bunch of police coming to our school in 5th
grade. They had a giant posterboard with pictures of all types of various
drugs. I remember them talking about drugs being bad for you and the effects
they can have on your body…including death.
What I don’t remember is them talking about what happens as
far as punishment if you get caught with drugs. The long term effects of making
one idiotic decision.
As I sat in my handcuffs, crying in the back of the squad
car while we rode to the jail, I realized I was in big trouble but still didn’t
come close to understanding the enormity with which this would affect the rest
of my life. I had family members that
had gotten arrested before, but none had ever stayed in jail longer than a
night or two to my knowledge.
I got through booking to learn that my bail had been set at $50,000.
Surprisingly, there were books available and I was able to investigate my
charges and learn the terrifying truth. It carries a 3 year minimum mandatory
sentence. It took me a good three weeks to accept that I had no idea how long
it would be before I could rejoin the outside world.
At some point I had
an arraignment with a judge via a television screen, and asked to be released
on my own recognizance since I hadn’t been in trouble before. My request was
denied. I had to sit and watch 2 hours of other inmates’ hearings, including a
sexual offender who WAS released on his own recognizance, but that is an
entirely separate rant for another day.
Back to my story. I ended up sitting in jail for 2 ½ months
before they lowered my bail and I could afford to get out. The case was
continued for about a year, and then I was sentenced to a year and had to go in
to finish the rest of my sentence (I got credit for the original 2 ½ months)
And I will say that I am lucky and eternally grateful that the judge showed
mercy in giving me just one year instead of three.
When I was a kid, my mother often grounded me for a month,
but I had always found a way to renegotiate her terms and I’d be ungrounded by
the end of a week. Except for the time I told her that would happen, then she actually
stuck to it for two weeks.
My point is that I had ZERO CONCEPT of consequences at all,
never mind of this level. I had no clue that making a couple of phone calls and
introducing two people to each other would impact me for decades to come. To me, this message should get out there to
our children so that even if they walk that same path, they at least can’t say they didn’t
know.
I would love to share my message with kids facing
peer pressure to try drugs and drinking like a majority of their friends (I saw
some random statistic that now 20% of kids over age 12 drink alcohol regularly,
and that 25% of that figure binge drink –
now that’s scary) I have a 14 year old as well as my 5 year old and while I can
talk to the two of them about that, what about the kids like I was, whose parents either
don’t care to talk to them about it or assume they don’t need to?
But…the nature of my charge would never let me volunteer or
speak to a group of kids in that capacity. Despite the fact that it was 11
years ago and I have not gotten in trouble since (aside from an occasional
speeding ticket, but even that has been awhile) How very sad that they will not
be able to learn from my mistakes and experiences. Because to me, if even just ONE of them listened
and learned something and altered their course, it would be worth the effort.
Now I’d like to talk about the laundry list of things that
constitute a felony. Because honestly? In the family I grew up in, a lot of the
things on this list were perfectly normal Saturday afternoon activities. I had
no idea I grew up surrounded by criminals and addicts until I went to jail and
consequently, therapy.
The concept that a perfectly ordinary individual can become
a convicted felon never occurred to me. Maybe it never occurred to you either, unless you have a friend or family member like me. Let’s
take a look at what Florida thinks, shall we?
Besides the obvious stuff, like murder, child porn, or
robbing a bank, some common felony charges in Florida include: DUI, writing a
bad check(fraud), getting in a fight (assault and battery), bigamy (I must
admit, I didn’t expect that one), burglary(yes, it’s a felony, whether you are
stealing from a house or a car), and a
myriad of charges involving various drugs.
Now, I’m not trying to say any of these things are ok, or
that someone who does them shouldn’t get in trouble or have to face their punishment. I’m just trying to say
that to a bunch of young adults that are completely uneducated (not all but definitely a percentage) on this topic,
these could seem like ordinary things to do. And even if not, they are things
it could be very easy to be led into getting involved in.
But not impossible to learn from.
And that is why it isn’t fair to continue to punish someone
after they have completed all of the terms of their sentence. When I got the
letter seven years ago telling me I was done with probation, it meant that I
had completely repaid my debt to society. I am not forbidden by law to be around children
or required to register with law enforcement or anything like that, I am just forbidden to
be around children by the Seminole County School Board.
It seems so obvious to ME, at least, that someone who got in
trouble once eleven years ago (Ooh! It’s after the New Year, I can start saying
12 years now! YAY!), and who hasn’t been in trouble since, has likely found
their way to the straight and narrow path.
If I had been arrested every year since for similar things, I could
totally see denying my application to volunteer. You know, this year I am
eligible to ask for clemency (a pardon). Now, that doesn’t mean I’ll get it,
apparently those standards got tougher in 2011, but my point is that it has
been a sufficient length of time that I am allowed to begin the process. If it’s
been long enough for that, surely it’s been long enough that I can help out
around the school.
I think for me, the funniest part (though I wasn’t laughing)
is that my first request for appeal was denied by the exact same person who
said no to it the first time. How is that an appeal, exactly? Especially since
when I spoke to the woman on the phone and she told me it was up to the state,
not the county, and there was nothing they could do to approve my application. So
when I asked her who it was I should contact about this at the state level, she
quickly and snappily told me “NO ONE. There is NO ONE that you can talk to
about an appeal, this is the policy.”
Since then I have learned this is NOT the state policy, and
that the state leaves it up to each county to decide how they will handle
volunteers. So telling me it was not up to the county itself was either a
mistake or a lie. Both of which would need correction.
I believe that was the moment that I decided to follow
through on this to the best of my ability, to prevent someone else being on the
receiving end of that kind of treatment. I can take it and shrug it off,
because I’m an exceptionally tough cookie. But not everyone can do that. For
some people, that could have been the catalyst to push them back into
drinking/drugging/self-destructing.
Shame on anyone who would kick someone who is already down
like that! (That’s right, I won’t name names since it is public record and
anyone can go see who it is online, but yeah SHAME ON YOU. Just because you are
not a felon, doesn’t make you a better person, which I think is obvious based
on your treatment of others). It is so hard to stay positive and focused
in the face of hostility and judgment such as that, and so easy to give up like they intend for you to and
say “I’ll never fit in, I’m just a criminal anyway, I may as well continue what
I was doing before, because there is no room for the likes of me on the path of
the righteous and good. They’re right, I should just go away.”
I have many MANY motivations to keep on fighting the good
fight (in SO many areas of my life, which will come out over time as I continue
this blog) and that is how I pick myself up, dust myself off and try again. And if I can somehow pick myself up AND help
others in the process, well, then that is another positive I can achieve even
though I am a felon…..and I take those positives when I can, since we felons
get so few of those. ;)
That’s enough rambling for today. I have had many of you ask
me to let you know when I am ready to present to the school board, so that you
may join my cheering section – I will definitely make sure I announce it. For
now, I shall continue my research of county, state, and federal school
volunteer rules and start watching prior school board meetings online so I can
get a feel for how things go so I am more comfortable when it is time for my
presentation. I like to do things properly and thoroughly, and those things
take a little bit of time.
On that note, I will leave you with some parting
motivational words from my five year old. With inspiration like this, how could I possibly give up? :)